Monday, April 28, 2008

The Judgmental Hypocrite

No commenter is more despised than the ideological hypocrite. This user attacks others for their simple-mindedness, while in the same breath exposing themselves as a bigoted simpleton. The scariest is when they invoke the good name of Reason as though they are some tiny, stupid warrior for justice. It's almost hard to believe they're not purposely trying to be ironic, if it weren't for their perpetuation of hateful words. So busted.

DomesticsSuck (11 minutes ago) Reply Spam

I laugh at creationists because they are simple people who lack basic logic and 3rd grade science. Dont worry though, I laugh at all stupid people ( muslims, niggers , retards, 12 year olds )

A response to: Why do people laugh at creationists? (part 24)

Monday, April 21, 2008

The Revisionist Historian

This commenter makes bold, broad strokes against the historical canvas, wasting no time to check facts. Extra points awarded for the prophecy of President G.W. Bush's coming-out party. All for the price of one prescient youtube comment.

errors35 (7 hours ago) Show Hide


From "Pluto by Claire and The Reasons"

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Suicide Watch Jonas Brothers Fanatic

Jonas Brothers defender/commenters: what happens when you mix adolescent hormones with aderol and take away any accountability. Their comments tend to be wildly emotional, intensely personal, and barely literate. We will see a lot of these offenders and I'm almost afraid to broach the subject lest I incur repercussions so severe I may never be able to blog again. But, a serious cultural anthropologist must always take risks.

Michelle // Mar 15, 2008 at 6:18 pm

Ur show is wonderful but,can u please STOP FUCKING talking about the jonas brothers!!!!!Wat the fuck does their purity rings have to do wit u???They will stay true.Also from aaron carter getting arrested to how the jonas brothers r gonna die???and 20 years from now they may not be singers but they will be actors. So u should shut the fuck up.U wont change the mind of any fans… U always mention the jonas brothers in almost every episode..what is ur problem wit them????YU only mention them a lot in many episodes in a bad way and the other celeberties like Lndsay Lohen and Jamie Lynn Spears once!!!!!!Seriously wat the fuck is ur problem wit them???!!!???!!! So wat if joe jonas runs into a wall???It makes him cute!!!!!If u got a problem wit them then deal wit it…

A comment posted to: "The PopCrunch Show"

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Wedgie Obsessor

This commenter has an insatiable thirst for wedgie-related knowledge and solving wedgie-related media mysteries. At first we only documented one wedgie inquiry; upon further examination, however, we began to notice a trend.

by ZachVanHellsing 6 days ago (Tue Mar 11 2008 00:55:59)
Ignore this User Report Abuse

I know that Joel gave one of the nerds wedgies during the 7 to nine skit but was it my imagination or did he give them a wedgie later in the show (3-7-08 ep)...i thought i saw him do it but i turned to the tv too late...does anyone know?

by ZachVanHellsing (Thu Dec 13 2007 10:29:15)
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I heard a rumer from the guys who run the sasquatch gang myspace that Jeremy Sumpter gets a wedgie, can anyone confirm or deny this? If there is one, can anyone tell me when it happens in the movie? Thanks guys!

by ZachVanHellsing (Wed Nov 21 2007 22:57:53)
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was he the one getting the wedgie?

From imdb.

The Teeth Police

Particular viewers find themselves most concerned with the teeth of a video artist.

oxBinkyxo (12 minutes ago) 0 Marked as spam Reply Spam

oh... my... god... how white are your teeth?! O_O anyway, loved the video :D

A response to: 21 Accents

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Scorned Video Contest Reject

It's pretty easy to tell when someone is feeling upset that their video didn't make it to the final round.

BareFootedRatCatcher (12 hours ago) -2 Marked as spam Reply Spam

Shitty. Really really fucking shitty.
I have NO idea how this pile of stinking dog shit made it to the top 20. This is a fucking joke.
1) Production value: NON-FUCKING-EXISTENT! Use a god damn tripod!
2) Originality: NON-FUCKING-EXISTENT! Random dude in the back seat?! I think that was the theme for 75% of the other videos submitted!

Sketchies 2 is a fucking joke. Watch this: v=0k-qBdJ_lo0

A response to: Sketchies II entry Goin' to Napa

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

A Note From the Editor

Dear fellow internet patron:

If you are a rational person, you may have become frustrated, disillusioned, even incensed by the levels of unreasonable commentary crowding our public internet spaces. The web is a completely free, somewhat democratic public forum that allows for an astonishing level of discourse among video, blog, and chatroom patrons. But it is both its virtue and its curse that it allows completely unqualified critics to pose as experts who can issue completely valueless commentary without any repercussions. One can maintain anonymity, thereby releasing themselves of any accountability for their comments. Make no mistake; the first ammendment is an absolutely precious right that should be guarded at all costs. But free speech is also a privilege, a privilege which gets abused daily on the internet in the form of useless comments.

"Thank You for Commenting" seeks out and exposes particularly rash abusers of the free speech privilege and comments on them to ease public discussion and ridicule. The irony is implicit, but we feel it is deserved. The comments posted on this blog are the least valuable, most wasteful comments that we find. How do we determine what is "least valuable?" Using a complex set of criteria that measures pointlessness, spelling, stupidity, bigotry, misinformation, illiteracy, and failure to articulate thoughts.

It’s easy to get angry about the amount of useless commentary that exists on the internet, but it’s more fun to laugh about it. We hope to provide a counterpoint to all the least constructive commentary by de-constructing it. And through our research we can encourage comment abusers to hesitate for a second before they post another thoughtless thought.

Thank you for reading, and more importantly, thank you for commenting. Please continue to do so with abandon.

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